The Personal Notes of the Current Guide-Holder
Nico Minoru, pg. -1
Staff of One, pg.∞ (really?)
Snowflame, pg. 12¾
I’ve never seen a glossary look anything like this! Page numbers include everything from calculus equations to Nordic runes, the organization isn’t numerical, alphabetical, or topical, and I’m pretty sure at some point I heard the screeching of a 56k modem while trying to find images of the original Thunderbolts. I don’t know what’s worse, that this tome of tales is filled with cryptic equations, symbols, and enigmas…or that deciphering it is actually becoming…natural. At first it would take me an entire night to decipher a sentence, now with every page I finish I find myself bringing another floating aethereal page in front of me. And the stories! Something tells me our fearless leader has no clue that the original Thunderbolts were actually the Masters of Evil. Snowflame might not even belong here. Not in Chicago, but this very dimension! The only statement I can decipher on his page other than his powers is that he names the New Guardians as his greatest rivals, but every time I try to even look deeper into them I’m met with gibberish and the letters “DC”.
At least I’ve figured out a few concrete things. Apparently, I’m not the first Dream Maker. The author of the guide, this “Gygax”, was apparently the first to deal with the dream lords and record his findings, which is apparently one of new duties. As the current Dream Maker I’m supposed to continue telling the stories of the universe and making sure they are found within the guide. As I write this the four pages of the “New” Thunderbolts are hovering around me, almost hounding me to fill them. My own refuses to ever let me see it, it darts out of my vision any time I try to concentrate on it, but my costumed image is clearly on its surface. On the other hand the others make no qualms about my interest in them, but what do I write?
Al is clearly reared for this hero thing, he practically let his panties hit the floor when the Cap showed his smiling, chiseled face. But even if I find his soldiering and sense of duty to be overly amusing, his knowledge of S.H.I.E.L.D. protocol and actual…..hero training(?) are gonna be what makes these new Thunderbolts functional. Gwen’s role in all of this is really going to fun to watch. Never would’ve guessed that Her Grace, “Queen Valedictorian” would be so deep in prescription meds she could keep Limbaugh supplied. And Sydney…Well, it seems I’ve probably met my match for reckless endangerment on this team. If I’m the one who has to teleport your blitzkrieging ass out of the firefight then you know that person is gonna be a timebomb waiting to happen. I’ll definitely have to step up my game if I’m going to be able to compete with her for the “biggest pain in Al’s ass” award.
The blank Thunderbolts page just hovers there, eagerly awaiting to be filled. Guess I’ll have to keep up with this S.H.I.E.L.D. gig. The perks are sweet, the name’s not bad, and besides, who am I to deny its’ story?
Dream Orb, pg.-173¡
Bo Dallas, pg.543B#
Bo Dallas is on his way to a CPD or S.H.I.E.L.D. holding cell and here I sit with the pages of my team members circling around my head like needy children looking for a meal. At least I think I’ve nailed down the classes of this adolescent squad. Al is clearly our stalwart defender. Simple, strong, well-trained. Will always stick to his training and happy to put with self in harm’s way for the sake of others. But what’s up with this Owen guy? Why would this boy scout be associated with anyone who is on S.H.I.E.L.D.‘s shit list? Gonna have to keep a close eye on that one. Our golden boy may have some tarnish under the surface. Brimstone is such the savage berserker. As our musical mind rapist discovered all we have do is wind her up, throw, and hope to god the carnage doesn’t land on us. Only problem is she lacks any sense of focus. We got lucky this time but this isn’t some comic book. Not every threat to society is gonna make things personal for just so Brimstone can pull enough of it together to be effective. Ah Gwen, good to see those days at track practice are keeping her body in shape and offsetting all those hours behind textbooks. I’m guessing I’m gonna get an earful for that stunt, which is exactly what she needs to do. Both stories and humans require real emotions and I can tell she’s been faking it. Oh she’s good, all her emotions are inherently genuine they’re just too perfectly timed. Happy when she’s supposed to be, angry when she’s supposed to be, it’s like she’s just bringing it them up when she thinks she’s supposed to. Humans aren’t just a mixture of chemicals that follow a set pattern, they’re unpredictable. All things are prey to the forces of chaos, and chaos is what drives this story on…